So I absolutely skipped September. I was finishing up contrac hours for the first half of the month, as well as finishing out the season with my derby team as bench coach and may or may not have had time to think. When all of that was over i just needed to decompress and take some time to be with JD so we could talk and be together and we ended up growing a lot, even if some of our talks were stressful (because I am bad at talking.)
Now we are in COtober and the month started off a little nuts when JD woke me up at 730AM on a Saturday morning to tell me that I could not set foot in our bathroom. There was a swarm of European Hornets buzzing around. I peeked in the door and definitely agreed that I was not setting foot in the place. And we called the landlord, who called an exterminator. Several days later the bugs are mostly completely gone and I feel almost safe taking a shower. So that is good news after the crazy that was Bug War 3.
The bad for me is that I am struggling again with a nasty toothache because I was hoping that I could ignore it and it would go away. No such luck, however, and I am going to have to suck it up and call the dentist's office. I should probably do it tomorrow, but you know...avoiding things I don't wanna do is something I am really good at. JD helps me be better though because he isn't afraid to push me, no matter what the "thing" is.
Yesterday for example, I was really freaking out because of a new workout that I was going to be starting that lets me combine exercise with roller derby and is really awesome since I have gotten really out of shape since my skating days. Mind you, I was never in the best shape to begin with. But anyway, my anxiety was tripping me up and giving me fits and JD looks me dead in the face and tells me that I am going to do this, that I need to do this. Not because he wants me to lose weight or get in shape or anything. He wants me to exercise more simply so that my back will get a good stretch and the muscles will get used and I will have less back pain as a result. When I got home last night he poked at my back muscles and pronounced them to feel like "overproofed bread dough." And my back felt way better.
Even beyond that one single benefit though, he pushses me to go. Not because I am the best, not because I want to play roller derby again competitively, again, not because he thinks I'm fat or unattractive, or out of shape, although I would call myself at least two of those things and the fact that I don't call myself all three says that I have come a long way. But I am rambling as ususal. JD asked me last night, "Why are you going?" And I wasn't sure what he meant. He explained it to me that I was going to lace up my skates and play roller derby and exercise with a group of people of mixed skill level to be better. And not for any other reason. And that I was going to do it for me. Not for anyone else.
And that really stuck with me. Later on at the event another skater who has known me for several years told me essentially the same thing and said that I had done well (she knows how out of shape I let myself get) and encouraged me to keep pushing and do it for me. So hearing from both the most important man in my life who isn't my father and from someone that I call a friend was really good for me I think.
Today I am researching proper weightlifting form and technique and I will start that maybe this weekend when I don't feel like I have been hit by a truck with a license plate that say RLRDBY. It's my own fault though...skating til I thought my legs were gonna give out, stopping to rest when I had no choice, and then skating some more. I don't have a stubborn bone in my body. Not at all. :)
And that has been my skipped September and my early October. Hopefully I will keep up with my writing more, but I am also back on a crochet kick (which also mad me forget September) and I have a project I am working on now that I want to get done and then I will start making some Christmas gifts that I can hopefully complete quickly. But now...dinner because my man can cook!!!