I have been trying to write a blog post for several weeks
now and I haven’t once finished it in a timely enough manner that I wanted to
post it. Here goes…(again)
I have been fighting with my weight and body image for a
while and fighting with feeling as though I am not sexy or desirable. And I
know that a lot of this ties into the fact that I am surrounded by and
bombarded with images of what society deems to be attractive and I don’t fit
any of those stereotypes. My solution
has been to start a private tumblr where I can focus on non-mainstream ideals of
beauty and sexiness and desirability. So far it seems to be helping. Hopefully
I can keep up with it and it will be helpful.
I have been back on skates several times lately and I feel
better about it every time I lace up. I have not made it into the gym though. I
am doing a good job of not beating myself up about that. Between work and derby
I am spending easily 60 hours a week doing this outside of my house. Sometimes
I just want to sit at home and veg. But I do need to keep trying to make an
effort. I will get there.
Meanwhile, I am working, working, working. I have a set
number of hours on my contract and I want to have it complete no later than
probably the 12th of September (it officially ends on the 16th.)
So far I have been holding my own to get the hours that I need and while it is going
to make for some long weeks I am not feeling nearly as drained by this as I was
when I did ALL those hours in one month last year. I am still watching the want
ads for a job, but if nothing materializes then I will stay here until
something does. And maybe a full-time spot will open here. That would be pretty
excellent.
JD and I have had some rather long and introspective conversations
as of late and it has been really good for us to have had these talks. I think
we are continuing to grow as a couple and it is wonderful. We have some plans
for next weekend since I am doing derby stuff this weekend and the following
weekend and things are progressing about as well as I think they can be. We are coming up on two years together in
August and there are some days that it seems like forever and other days when
two years seems impossible. Here’s to many, many more.
And after several weeks of trying to write I have managed to
complete a blog post. I think I will email it to myself and put it up on the
blog later since I am at the office right now. It is 530pm on June 2, 2014. How
long before I remember to post this one? LOL (And the answer is roughly 29.5 hours from the time of completion.)
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