Sunday, November 9, 2014

November ramblings

One entry in October. I pretty much fail at this whole blogging thing. Mostly because it tends to slips my mind that I should write. Maybe I will try to start setting aside time each week or every few days or something and put it on my calendar.

So I got back to my derby fitness group like I said I would and did my weight lifting research and two weeks into derby I fell and sprained my knee rather badly. I am still unable to walk without crutches for the most part and certainly can't skate or exercise really. I find it to be incredibly frustrating. And if I can't walk then I struggle even with simpler tasks like standing to cook or do dishes or get around the store. And that makes me feel helpless and I utterly detest feeling helpless.

And the knee injury has caused problems for me at work as there have been several missed days due to appointments and whatnot in addition to the mental strain this is causing which is also problematic. I have gotten so that I shake like a chihauhua a lot lately and I cannot find a concrete reason so I starting to think it is all just stress related and I feel like the stressors  I am dealing with are things that I cannot do much about. Or if they are things I can solve I will simply handle thm only to have new problems pop up in their place. If anyone wants to give me a couple grand in cash for my birthday coming up that would probably greatly alleviate some of my stress though.

I think one good thing that is coming of all m y stress though is that I am getting a lot of crochet done because it is one thing that quiets my hands so they don't shake so bad. Today, even typing is hard, but I am trying to slow down so I don't make mistakes and I am proofreading pretty closely as well so I can make needed corrections. Double letters seem to be my biggest downfall right now so don't mind an extra letter here or there if I do not catch it.

I am mostly just rambling now and not sure what there is to say. I don't want to rehash all the random things that are bugging me and the crochet project I am working on is a Christmas gift and since I'm not certain of my readership I won't say much about it, of course. I will be 30 soon and it amazes me that so many of my friends who have turned or are about to turn 30 are having such issues with the idea. Age is nothing more than a number. Sure, sometimes I have bad days where I feel awful, but often enough I have days where I forget that I'm not 25 still. *shrug* Despite my mental health issues and my current knee injury I'm not doing too bad, although I could stand some weight loss. And as soon as I can do so it is on the agenda for sure. At the rate my knee is healing I don't expect to be able to play roller derby next season as much as I would like to be able to do so and recognizing and accepting that seems to have been good for me. I think when I am cleared to workout again I will get back to the gym and back to the derby fitness group and focus on that for a bit. If I can do more then I will, but I am not going to push so hard that I risk reinjuring my knee. That just seems like a poor plan on my part.

The weather is turning cold and snowy already and I am wishing I could have just another month of fall. I'm not ready for snow. Granted, I am never ready for snow. And JD keeps threatening to throw me in a snowbank. Not cool. Well...cold, but whatever. I hate snow. That's never going to change. And since I am running out of odds and ends to prattle on about I think I will go back to my crochet. Or maybe take a nap. I am still tired even after plenty of sleep and I just feel kind of meh.