Friday, October 25, 2013


So my last post was from earlier this month and I wrote it but instead of posting right away it got saved in my email and I'm just now getting around to posting again for the month. Oops!

So I'm still hovering at about 11 pounds lost, but I am also weight training along with my cardio so it seems reasonable to assume that I am adding muscle which is denser than fat so even if the numbers don't drop too fast there are still changes that are happening and progress that is being made.

JD pointed out that he sees a difference already in the curve of my legs and I have noticed a minor difference in my upper arms. My core is still weak and my back needs some help, but I know that I will get there. I still don't have health insurance yet, but that is getting addressed and I should end up OK on that front in the long run. I might also be getting a "real" full time job at the same palce I am working now and making more money, but that isn't for certain yet and it will be some time before I find out how that is going to go.

I did decide to go ahead and try the roller derby boot camp that my league is holding even though I am kind of out of shape for roller derby. My foot has been feeling better and better and I've found some things that help me not have the pain I was having so I figured I would give it a go. Wow! Even though I have been in the gym pretty solidly for a month and even though I have managed to realize a small amount of progress in that time the boot camp last night KICKED MY ASS. My core is not nearly as strong as it needs to be, my endurance is still awful for quick bursts of movement AND for jogging (I hate running in any form), and my back/muscle memory for a lot of the skating stuff that I need to be able to do is definitely weak. That said, I am going to be changing up my exercise routine to incorporate more of the aerobics that we are doing in boot camp and that will go a long way towards improving all of those things that I am currently struggling with. As time and money permit I may also go down to the rink and skate when I can as more skating is NEVER a bad thing.

Besides my skates have shrunk somewhat from sitting and being unused so anything I can do to stretch them out is a good idea. My feet didn't hurt from the pressure, but instead they hurt because the boots were tight around my toes and starting to cause numbness. It really made me want to buy new boots, but that is definitely not in the cards right now as money is quite tight. Also, my skates are almost brand new so I need to suck up the fancy new gear craving, stretch my skates, and apply myself to getting back into roller derby shape.

I have made further progress with dealing with my mental health issues as well and have been released from my regular therapy sessions by my therapist with instructions to call her if I need anything. I am still working with a psychiatrist to get my meds handled and issues smoothed out. The nightmares are probably one of the worst things that I am still  dealing with and there is a medication I can try for that as well. Hopefully it won't knock me on my ass.

And that is that. I'm going to get back to work and start trying to make a better effort to keep things updated a bit more frequently. And I need to get back to my knitting as I have a gift that needs finished and several other projects that I would like to start on. I'm really done. Bye. I think.

Old post that I'm finally dropping in

I am down 11 pounds now. Over halfway to my goal of losing 20 pounds by the end of the year. If I meet that 20 I will be happy with my progress and won't seek to lose a set amount again by the end of the year, but instead turn my focus to continuing to lose in a healthy manner. I am still debating if I am going to try and do the boot camp with my foot still possibly jacked up with my sesamoiditis. I know that I could do the off-skates portion of the workout, but I'm not sure if I could sit there and watch the others skate without feeling incredibly sad or left out of things so I'm just not sure if it is worth the trouble to try and go do it.
And since I currently do not have health insurance because I quit my job at Walmart it makes getting my foot looked at a bit difficult. I am trying to get on a Medicaid plan or COBRA or something, but have been having trouble getting the answers, information, and paperwork that I need to move forward with the process. Honestly it is a pain in the ass, but I can't go without insurance given that I need medication to keep myself functioning on a somewhat normal level. And some days even the pills don't help...but that's another matter entirely I suppose.
I am trying to not stress over other things in my life such as finances, but I struggle with it. Daily sometimes even hourly, but JD is always there and he does his best to keep me grounded. We went to the Apple Festival on Sunday and even though we didn't do anything but wander and we only had just enough money to get us through the gate and to each have a funnel cake it was a good time. I am learning, again, that the simple pleasures in life are what make it worthwhile. That's why I can happily curl up next to him in bed and read while he dozes against my side or we read together. Sometimes its nice just to be with someone that you love and not have to worry about anything. We still marvel at the ease between us and how things have turned out. I know I never thought I would find a relationship like this. I am happy and at peace and we don't quarrel so much as we teasingly bicker. Neither one of us understands the couples who are constantly fighting back and forth and sniping and short with one another. Sure, we aren't perfect and we have our moments where we might lose our temper and snap but rarely is the loss of temper directed at the other person. Hell, the last time I got angry I was mad because I was frying an egg and the yolk broke when I went to flip the egg. It was just one of those things that told my temper enough was enough. Strange things that rouse my temper, but I was over it soon enough and JD made me a yummy fried egg to soothe my nerves and my hungry belly.