Tuesday, August 6, 2013

I feel the need to recharge...

The world is a hostile place today and one I wish I could simply hide from by curling up under a blanket. I don't want to come out, world, and you can't make me! If only that were the truth. I would still be in my bed wrapped in the covers or nestled into the couch with my knitting and maybe a cup of tea. Unfortunately, I haven't yet become independently wealthy so that's not an option for me today.

On the upside of things I have managed to drop my hours to about 280 by September, but that is still going to require busting my hump to get them all in. It's progress, even if it doesn't seen like much. If I didn't have both jobs to worry about I'm certain that it would be much easier to handle. Then again, with the way I've been struggling with getting to my other job I'm not sure how much longer I might have it. Working retail is incredibly detrimental to my mental health and given the recent decline I've seen in my physical health I've noted some impact there. I do have an appointment with a new doctor's office later this month and hopefully that will be the beginning of shedding some light on why I feel so awful.

I know I spent a lot of my time writing venting about annoying little things or seemingly whining about things that to my readers (if there are any) must be inconsequential. Despite that and despite the days when my mental health kicks me in the teeth until I cry, I am not dissatisfied with my life. Certainly there are things that stress me out, make me upset, make me angry or sad or paranoid, but there are also things that make me smile or laugh or bring joy and contentment. It is human nature for a lot of people to focus on the negative things in their life instead of celebrating the positive ones. Given that I have a sometimes quite pessimistic outlook any way I'm sure I can be rather fatalistic in my views at times. I'm also the type that doesn't do well if my plans are derailed even a little bit. I'm just not as flexible about it as I could and probably should be a lot of the time.

I can't guarantee that I will be writing regularly for the next month or so given my nutty ass schedule, but I think that perhaps every time I write (even if I'm ranting and venting and angry) I want to try and remember and record at least one good thing that has happened since the last time I wrote. With that said, a good thing right now is that the bills are handled and we are on track to make our move and be in the new place by the end of the month. It is busy and hectic and JD is going to be handling a lot without me, but we are getting it done and will be working to get our budget on track to get these bills paid down. Hopefully if I'm gone for a bit I will come back with even better news.

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