I had my second appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday. I did not try to run from him, nor did I have to be dragged back into his office this time. He commented on it my coming alone instead of with JD and I told him, "If you didn't lock me up last time, you probably won't lock me up this time!" and got a laugh.
So I survived that and came out with a diagnoses of anxiety, non-specific (which I knew), PTSD (which I also knew), and a new one for bipolar II (which I was expecting). This means that my Cymbalta was increased to 60mg a day at my request and I was given a prescription for Lamictal that will start at 25mg a day, go up to 50mg after two weeks and at my visit next month will bump me up to 100mg a day with is the lowest effective dosage. For my own records I will note that I am starting the Lamictal today at 25mg.
Today I am oddly jittery and I'm not quite sure why, but its not seeming to be as bad today as it was last night. I've done the gym two days in a row and have a large blister on the bottom of my right foot from a hotspot that was rubbing worse than I realized. I'm still pretty stoked that I did a 24:00 mile yesterday and don't necessarily expect to be quite so awesome today because of my foot, but I'm still going to push myself as much as I can. I'm doing a 5k walk/run with my office in mid-July so I have just over a month to work on my fitness so I don't embarrass myself in front of the entire office. This will also start prepping me for the mud run that I am hoping to have the funds to do in September as well as get me started back on the path to getting fit for roller derby. I miss it and my team like crazy, but I think the time away is still good for me.
I am hopeful that my job here at the office will continue after September and hopefully even further than that. I honestly enjoy the work and although I'm still having some focus issues they aren't quite as bad as they had been. Granted, if it gets noisy in the office I tend to struggle more than if it stays quiet and since I have to answer the phone from time to time its hard to just ignore everything and put on my headphones, but sometimes I have to so I can not freak out. As long as my work gets done that's the important part and my boss has been super cool about my taking time when I needed to.
And I think that's that. I'm always open to question or comments about my life, my mental health or whatever so if you're so inclined, feel free.