Thursday, September 19, 2013

Chatter Chatter

I am feeling super anxious today and can't quite pin point why. It started after I got out of therapy and got to work so maybe there is something that I am picking up on or something that I am missing (yeah...wide range) that is causing the anxiety. Whatever it is, I don't like it.

I have done good this week with the gym and counting my calories. Now I just have to be able to sustain the activity and that will help me go a long way towards getting back on my skates. I'm looking forward to getting back to being more involved with the physical side of derby than the behind the scenes stuff and hope that I can make real progress to being on the roster by March of next year. That is almost 6 months away give or take so I think I can accomplish a lot by then and put myself in a better place both physically and mentally.

Speaking of mental health I've had two appointments this week (one with my shrink and another with my therapist) and both went well. I am staying on my current meds and will be starting some behavioral type therapies that are supposed to help with my PTSD flashbacks. That makes me nervous and could be at least part of the reason I am anxious. Hopefully I can get this all under control and my anxiety well lessen as my other MH problems become less problematic.

On the physical front I am staying off the scale, counting calories, trying to drink lots of water (this one is really hard for me) and trying to exercise everyday, even on days (like yesterday) that I skipped the gym. Hiking was fun though and found a nice, smooth chunk of crystal that had been water polished. We also stumbled across a patch of wild growing mint which was kind of neat to find. There was talk of getting waders and going further down the creek bed and into the water at some point which might be a lot of fun.

But for now...back to the daily grind.

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