Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Anxiety fits

So I went to the dr on Monday and when I stepped on the scale I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I have lost 7 pounds. I know that's not a lot, but since I am getting back into the gym and trying to get back in shape for derby it was a nice bit of motivation.

Today I was really anxious all day long and it really bothered me. Even going to the gym didn't really help me calm down although I did do 26 minutes on the elliptical without stopping and I felt like that was an accomplishment in and of itself. It also meant that I skipped my weights because my legs were JELLY. I'm going to try it again tomorrow but will probably split my cardio in half with my lifting in the middle like I have been doing, but I will still be pushing myself.

Roller derby boot camp is going to be earlier this year than it has been in previous years and it is coming up at the end of October. I was considering being a little crazy and trying to do it, but now I'm really worried about money and finances as things are quite tight now that I'm not working at walmart. I actually got home and cried about it for probably close to an hour before I finally calmed down enough to get my shit together and help JD make dinner. We really enjoy cooking together and even in our super tiny kitchen we make it work. Tonight's menu was mushroom, onion, and swiss burgers with mac and cheese. Not super great for my diet, but I still managed to not go over my calorie count for the day. So I'm still on track as far as that goes and I can even have a small bit of chocolate if I want without blowing it out of the water.

I'm still feeling pretty rough after everything that went on and I'm still worried about finances and how it is all going to work out. JD assures me that it is fine and that we are OK (realistically we are) but I am incredibly tired of feeling like we live month to month and never get anywhere on paying down the bills and debts (that are all mine and that makes me feel worse about the whole thing.) *sigh* At any rate it is past my bed time so off I go.

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