Monday, November 18, 2013

Brick of Text

I didn’t write all weekend and I’m not sure why now that I look back on things. I think I was just being lazy. Saturday my good thing was definitely the food as JD made me brisket, collard greens, and baked potatoes for a belated birthday dinner. We polished that off with bourbon and Dr. Pepper to drink and that was just an altogether enjoyable experience (with red velvet cupcakes for dessert.) We don’t eat together very often as we’re usually sitting at our respective computers. I think we need to get back into the habit of eating dinner together when we are both eating at the same time. Even if we just sit in the floor and talk and eat. It’s so nice.

Yesterday I slept until almost noon which was definitely a good thing and then I proceeded to do nothing all day until I decided that I had this crazy desire to play World of Warcraft for the first time in several years so I did that for a while in the evening and want to play some more tonight I think. I can be a bit of a junkie when I get on a gaming kick. So that will probably occupy a lot of my time for a little while and that’s OK I think. It’s better than say drinking myself silly at least. Yesterday was just a good quiet, day and that’s what made it good.

Then the damn power went out when I was ALMOST asleep last night. That made it hard for me to fall back asleep and then I didn’t sleep very well which meant that I didn’t want to get up this morning at all and I am still feeling pretty rough even though I think I look like I have it together. Poor JD didn’t fall asleep until well after dawn so I know he is still out (It’s after 11) and I hope that he is feeling better when he does wake up.

I never did get any knitting done over the weekend like I was planning on doing and I don’t know if I will finish the blanket any time soon honestly, but I’m just not sure if I really care because it feels more like work than something I can enjoy. That said, I should still try to finish the blanket even if I don’t get it done before the shower (which is this weekend and I think I’m already too anxious about it to go.) And on top of my anxiety I will just feel so awkward and uncomfortable because I just don’t do well in situations like that. It makes me feel kind of awful about not going, but I feel less awful if I don’t go than if I go and put myself through the anxiety and fear and worry and everything else that comes along with having mental health issues that mean you don’t do well at most social events. It honestly keeps me from doing a lot of things because I am far more comfortable and less sick feeling if I just stay home. *shrug* It honestly bothers me less and less as I get older.

I have no idea what my good thing for today is going to be (it is about 20 or 12 now) so I will either update it later tonight or sometime tomorrow once I figure out what happened today that was a good thing. I mean sure the fact that I got out of bed today (barely) was a good thing, but if my day doesn’t get better than that then it seems like I might have been better off to stay in bed and sleep and let the fact that I got some sleep be a good thing. Tonight might be an early night, but I only say that until I load up WoW and then I won’t want to log off the game and go to bed….

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